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    漸行漸遠的劉小楓

    從大學期間開始閱讀劉小楓,至今算起已經有數年了。印象頗深的是第一次在大學圖書館中翻閱到了劉小楓的《拯救與逍遙》竟然掩飾不住內心的狂喜,興沖沖的跑回到了宿舍告訴一個和我有著同樣閱讀興趣的朋友。而后,這個朋友也迷上了劉小楓,我們一起把圖書館中凡是與劉小楓有關的書籍基本都翻了一遍,《詩化哲學》、《拯救與逍遙》、《走向十字架上的真》、《現代性社會理論緒論》這些大部頭以及像《沉重的肉身》等隨筆性質的小品文無論是否能看得懂的我們都借了研讀,但是就沒有發現《這一代人的怕和愛》。

    而后的幾年,借助于網絡的勃興,終于在網上閱讀了這本書的電子本。相對于他的那些比較學術化的文本,閱讀《這一代人的怕和愛》這樣的學術隨筆,簡直是一種奢侈的美的享受,而且是享受智慧的美餐。不過還是很可惜,三聯版的《這一代人的怕和愛》已經賣斷很久了,劉小楓雖然隨后修訂出版了他的許多大部頭著作,但是遲遲未見這本小書露面。據劉小楓自己曾坦言從不自戀自己的文字,所以扔了很多早期覺得稚嫩的文章,不知道是否這個原因一直沒有修訂出版這本小書。直到了2007年年初,這本在我以往閱讀生涯占據重要地位的小書終于被華夏出版社重新出了增訂本。

    但是往昔的閱讀激情已然不再了。不知為何看著手中已經變厚了的增訂本,心中有些寞然的悵意。我為什么單單難忘那個三聯版的小冊子樣兒的《這一代人的怕和愛》?難道增訂本的《這一代人的怕和愛》相對以前的那個寒酸的版本不是更加厚重,更具有新增的問題意識么?也許簡單的看就是這樣。但是,和以前的那個版本比,失去的卻是我已經在內心形成的難以言語的閱讀激情,還有愛。

    劉小楓曾經在書中細述他們那一代人的“怕”和“愛”,“我所說的那種怕與任何形式的畏懼和怯懦都不相干,而是與羞澀和虔敬有關”,而愛呢?“與此相關,我們可以領會到耶穌在十字架上受難的意義,他的啟示在于,愛的實現是與受苦和犧牲聯系在一起的,這是愛在此地此世的必然遭際”。只有如此理解“怕”和“愛”你才能知道他具體想表達什么,他想表達的恰恰是,這種具有宗教精神的“怕”和“愛”正是他們這一代人的所缺乏的,也是我們這個一向“沒有習慣向苦難下跪的民族”所缺乏的最重要的精神質素。只有從這個角度理解《這一代人的怕和愛》你才能在其中閱讀到許多令我們耳目一新的東西。

    我想我明白了為什么我現在看到這個加入了許多許多新作的增訂本時候有些失望的感覺了,因為看到它的新貌無法讓我回到當初的閱讀語境,也無法讓我感受到源初閱讀時候心中產生的那種悲憫和向苦難充滿敬意的情懷。“怕”和“愛”是我當初閱讀時候最強烈的感情,但是現在我已然從“信”走向了“不信”,從崇敬走向了懷疑,從熱切走向了冷靜,甚至從虔敬走向了質疑。這種數年間心態的百感交集讓我現在的閱讀也處于了一種情感缺失的狀態。找回失落的閱讀激情是我閱讀這本《這一代人的怕和愛》的時候最強烈的感受。

    重溫那些再熟悉不過的篇章,更加堅信了我的判斷,對新增的那些文字依然充滿了陌生感。陌生感不是說我對那些新增的文字陌生,恰恰相反,那些新增的文字我大都閱讀過,但是當這些文字被收錄到新版的《這一代人的怕和愛》中的時候,那些原本熟悉的文字霎時間變得陌生了。陌生不是因為文字,而是因為對已經寄托了情感和靈魂的源初版本的熱愛,因此之故,對所謂增訂本有一種自然的排斥和質疑。

    翻閱這本面貌煥然一新的書,新增訂的文字大都來源于劉小楓先生近些年給他主編“經典與解釋”叢書中的選本所著的序言之類的文字。那些文字因為預先有了書寫評論的對象,而且對象多為西方大哲,所以文體的選擇上顯得理性和嚴肅的多,那種直顯心性的如《記戀冬妮婭》一類文體書寫再也看不到了。這也是我與這些新增的文字一直感覺到存在隔閡的原因。

    以前我曾經寫過一篇評論張旭東先生的文章《跨文體書寫的困境》,大意是說對于習慣一種文體書寫的人很難嘗試用新的文體寫作,他們經過長期訓練的學術思維已經有了一定的慣性,這種思維的慣性致使他們書寫的時候轉換文體有一定的困難。當然,這種規律并不是絕對,劉小楓就是一個例外。熟悉劉小楓的學術歷程的人大都熟悉他近些年在學術領域不斷的周期性“跳槽”,大學學習美學,后轉為哲學,其后轉為神學,又轉為國學,最終轉為現在的社會學理論和政治哲學。

    盡管我們無法一次次快速適應越來越陌生的劉小楓,但是他讓我依然充滿敬意的是,他的每一次轉行都會有一本帶給我們驚喜的新作問世。這種在不同的領域中往返不斷學術經歷才是他文本書寫時一再變幻的原因。在編選自己的一本選集的時候,劉小楓解釋了自己近些年“學述文風變化頗大”的原因:“一,有意走出既定文化制度的文體;二,摸索切合自己關心的各種思想學術論題的不同文體”,并最終強調,“只是要區分單純個體信念式的文體和切合文化理論品質的文體,并在這兩種不同的言路中前行”。

    對照舊版的《這一代人的怕和愛》和現在的增訂本,之間最大的不同也許就是前者是單純的個體信念式的文體書寫,而后者已經泯滅了兩種文體書寫之間的界限。當這種本來相對清晰的文本書寫日漸模糊時,原來在書寫中清晰堅定的劉小楓的面容也逐漸淡化了。這種隱微細小的變化正契合了他在前言中感慨所謂的“我們這一代,早就消散了——也該消散了”。

    時代進步,感覺進步,學術進步,而我的記憶卻停留在了上個世紀九十年代“個子高大,一副深度眼鏡架在臉上,身上透著一股鄉土的書卷氣,燦爛中略帶詭秘的笑”的劉小楓身上。不過那個劉小楓已經漸行漸遠了,留給我們的是讓我們日益捉摸不透的劉小楓。

    (來源:https://book.douban.com/review/1189168/,作者:思郁)

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